© Pierre Maré,
2004 - 2007
Offbeat 86
A word of thanks to Paul Randall for pointing out that there is in fact, a hit song, 'Ruby Tuesday' by the Rolling Stones!
Valentine’s Day has just passed. If you came here looking for some romantic gesture, you came to the wrong place. That moment was reserved for my wife and daughter as always. Anyway, I’m a guy. As far as the language of love is concerned I’m a dyslexic who got very, very lucky in romance’s spelling test.
This year Valentine’s Day fell on a Tuesday. Although I don’t have a problem with Valentine’s Days, and I always remember them every year, Tuesdays are a major problem. About one seventh of my life has been lived out on Tuesdays, and for the life of me, I can remember about one of them.
I vividly remember the Tuesday that my daughter was born. I remember every single moment of that day, right down to the magazines that I bought in the shop across the road and the very bland doughnuts in the hospital cafeteria that tasted like they had been made with low dose of artificial sweeteners for the sake of my health, not large amounts of sweet, sweet sugar my enjoyment.
I also remember that before I settled down, my pub had a happy hour on Tuesdays, but that didn’t make the Tuesdays more memorable. I remember the horrifying hangovers and the bleary eyes of myself and my colleagues on Wednesday mornings. I remember wishing I could get the taste of yesterday’s beer out of my breath, even after brushing five or six times and having multiple cups of coffee. I also remember wishing I could go back home, take a headache tablet and sleep. But that was Wednesdays, way back in those days.
Here’s a pop quiz. Can you name a famous song with the word ‘Tuesday’ in the title. See what I mean? As days of the week go, Tuesday gets the short end of the stick.
If you are like me, Mondays will be great; full of the potential of the coming week. If you aren’t like me, their character will be gloomy, but they will have a character. Wednesdays are the middle of the week, a reason for many to party. Thursdays are the day before the weekend begins. On Fridays the weekend begins and it is a day associated with partying and pleasure. Saturdays are for your own activities, shopping and longer social get-togethers, assuming you went to bed before dawn on Saturday. Sundays are a day for families and relaxation.
Where does this leave Tuesday?
Tuesdays come across as a void. From the work point of view, I know that Tuesdays are the day when professionals are most likely to open e-mails on professional topics. That says everything about the quality of Tuesday as a working day. It’s also a day so void of character that at least one bar-owner decided to give it some oomph with half-price beers.
Personally I think Tuesdays are ripe for reform. Perhaps we could all get together and declare Tuesday ‘Come to Work in Your Underwear or Pay a Huge Amount to Charity Day’. That should make Tuesdays a bit more memorable, especially those towards the end of the month when the money gets a bit tight.
Maybe we could insist on a universal press policy that biases news coverage on Tuesdays towards good news, those funny stories that involve strange people in embarrassing situations and really bright, cheerful horoscopes full of love and success. That would mean that politicians and their spin doctors would have to stay home on Mondays, and it might have major ramifications for global peace. At the very least, invasions would not be possible on Mondays.
At least one in seven birthdays falls on a Tuesday, so perhaps there is something there as well. In future I will ask for something outrageously expensive or memorably ridiculous when my birthday is on a Tuesday.
And perhaps I could postpone all major, life-altering decisions until Tuesdays. It might help with my occasional, hot-headed impulsiveness.
But perhaps I am being a bit unkind towards Tuesdays. This Valentine’s Day, I gave my daughter a bunch of flowers, her first for the occasion. Her smile and happiness were wonderful, a memory that I will be able to treasure.
Even so… Tuesdays need to pull up their socks a bit.
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