© Pierre Maré,
2004 - 2007
Offbeat 94
I never was a great team player. Rugby passed me by in a blur of winded pain. Soccer left me wishing I could be off on the sidelines, or better yet, completely off the pitch, reading a book, something, anything else.
Cricket was a slightly different story. I could bat on my own. I could meander around the left field and stare myopically at the sky trying to make out if the ball was coming my way, wondering what I would do if I had to catch it. I could windmill my arms and put the ball just there on the wickets. Unfortunately, the headmaster, captain of our cricket team if only by default, put a stop to that so that people could actually get a chance to bat. So much for cricket. So much for team sports.
Swimming was a Zen-like experience and stayed with me until the age of about fifteen. When I quit, the trainer swore I would make a great long distance swimmer. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I couldn’t care less about competing, but could probably cross the Channel if only I could be left alone to swim. Anyway, I wanted time to put my feet up and read.
So I never learned the trick of being together in a team, or to rely on others. Instead I learned the nasty habit of doing everything on my own, or at least almost everything. Yes, it is a nasty habit. But it has its benefits.
I am a ‘forward thinker’. I need to know where I will be tonight, tomorrow, in a couple of years from now. I hate uncertainty the same way a Californian hates an earthquake. The problem with uncertainty is that most situations that jump out at you and take you completely by surprise seldom come with those little red glass boxes that say ‘break in case of emergency’.
I find that being reliant has a way of breeding uncertainty that I cannot tolerate, for instance having to do someone else’s job at the very last minute when I was planning to spend time with my family or just go home and get in some relaxation.
So instead I provide for doing my own job and that of everyone around me.
It has turned me into an amazing time manager, even if tpyos do creep in from time to time. It also means that the jobs that I do, get done to my satisfaction, at the time when I need to have them completed, for instance when I want to go home and spend time with my family.
On the other hand my habit of doing things on my own has led to points where a number of people don’t really bother to pitch in when the going gets tough, convincing me that there is merit to my approach. “Bring it on. Keep the companionship and bonhomie to yourselves. I’m going home early guys.”
That being said, miracles seem to happen when teams pull together. There is no greater pleasure than knowing that there is someone at your back, doing his or her job without putzing, prevaricating or pottering off to do their own thing in the face of a looming deadline. I wish there were more of it. But there will always be people who don’t join in the fun, and there will always be people who take up the slack.
Personally, I think they should bring back the lash, or at least summary dismissal. All this talk about human values and positive reinforcement leads nowhere most of the time.
A recent business article I read reinforced my belief. The author stated the unspoken law that actually, business is about getting work done: its main aim is not to be kindly and caring. That’s just a luxury byproduct if everyone gets enough work done and the CEO, or whatever the grand panjandrum is known as, is in a really good mood.
Maybe it could be summarized even more succinctly: if flattery gets you nowhere, give cruelty a go. It might not help, but at least you have an outlet for frustrations.
Putting aside stupid fantasies about whips and chains , there is one major benefit to going it on your own: somehow it is easier to forgive yourself than to forgive others. So if something does go wrong, there is none of the simmering tension or the revenge fantasies. So in a strange way, doing it all yourself is somehow more relaxing.
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